Should women start a family before having a career?💖
Thank you for coming😍
Let's talk about us, shall we?
Some of us women have been raised to be the perfect wife, some of us have been raised to be career women and some us have been raised to be both. If you have read my previous post "Submissive Women", it is a culture thing in the african community.
I will always remember when one day, few of my aunties came over my mother's house and tried to persuade her that it was time for me to get married, I was 21 years old at the time. When I got home, they were already gone and my mother told me that she needed to talk to me. As she was talking I didn't even make a tiny sound, nothing. She realised herself that that the whole thing was ridiculous. She never mentioned it again. I wanted to be a business woman and mariage was not in my head.
Unfortunately, you always have people around you that will influence you when very young. As time goes, you start to notice that most of your friends get married and start their families. So you start to think it may not such a bad thing to be married even though I didn't really feel like some women that I knew were truly happy in their mariages.
Most of women are rushing into relationship or mariage with people for the wrong reasons and a lot of those women are suffering in silence because they are scared of what people are going to say if they leave or because they do not want to stay single, but this is another subject.
Family and friends will start to ask you when are you going to get married and start a family, and tell you that you do not get younger, the usual blablabla. And even if we know that they only wish you best, the pressure can make you feel frustrated. You on the other hand probably want to carry on studying or make a lot of money. But you slowly start to loose focus and think that you should listen to them.
You meet someone, rush into it, get married, start a family and start to forget about your dreams. Some African families will not let you be, they will pressure you to have your first child within a year of marriage which will create more tension in your relationship. How would you even have time to think about your dreams? I beleive that it should be you and your husband to decide when you want to start a family and when you want to expand. Unfortunately after a first child people will comeback again with the question. "When are you going to have another one?" As there is some kind a pregnancy button that is on your belly that you can press and there it is. Only God can bless you with children.
I have listen women telling their stories on how they had to give up on their dreams because they didn't think they would have time, it would be too hard. Or their husband wasn't supportive of it.
Now having a career or starting a business is not easy at all when you are a woman, rather you have children or not. But doing it so when you have a family or you are a single mum is probably one of the hardest thing in the world. It takes hard work, organisation, determination and a lot of sleepless nights. So you will definitely need someone that will have your back on every step of the way. Your partner, a parent or a bestie. But if you are married your spouse should definitely be your number one fan.
I beleive that we all have a path in this life and everything happen for a reason. I am glad that I started my business when my daughter was already there cause being a mum has helped me stay focus. Even if being a single mum is very hard, every time you feel like giving up, you think about your child and it helps you stay focused. In my twenties even though I felt like I was very mature I think that I was easily disturbed. So I don't think I would have gone this far. My faith also helped me a lot now I have God in my heart which makes me understand things better.
So at the end beauty, do what your heart tells you. You know best, it is your life. Don't ever let people pressure you. If you feel like waiting. Wait! Remember, us women have sens for it, but we choose to ignore it.
Always remember that you are beautiful, blessed and God loves you.😘🤗
My beauty pick of the week is my new lipgloss "MERCURY" colour bronze available on the website.
I talk to you next week😍🤗😘 XoXo Bisous Anna.S
@annasafrica @annasbeautyandcosmetics Facebook Anna.S Beauty and Cosmetics Images www.Nichollekobi.com